by Candi Bartlett | 02/03/2021
It didn’t happen all at once. It happened over time, in a way neither of us could have prepared for, and in such a subtly in-our-faces way we are both to blame. Even though now, she really can’t be expected to carry any of that weight. At first, it was one sentence every so often. A sentence the listener would be surprised by. At first. In reaction. But as more simple sentences were shared, that were actually deep, personal statements of belief and purpose, the less we were surprised. The normal distance, not the kind of actual geography but the kind of distance people create with busy schedules and forgotten returned messages, grew. It always does. But inside that stretching road, words found a way to create more space. The language used to express ideals and passions became endless moments in time where little made sense. Now it seems like it took forever, but then I only blinked and she was so far into the horizon, she almost wasn’t there at all.
I panicked, of course, to see this teeny image in the farthest distance that was once the human I care so much for. In my panic, I reached out my hand – the only thing I could think to do – and tried to pluck her out of the place forever in front of me where up meets down.
It worked! In between the tips of my nervous, sweaty fingers she was there, only an inch tall, looking up at me. We were equally confused. I think she smiled. We were probably thinking the same thing. That still happened every so often and even though she was very little, we could feel it. The vibe was still strong.
I keep her in my pocket now. We spend more time together than either of us could have imagined. In my breast pocket, she seems rather comfortable during the day. I serve her tiny lunch. At night, she sleeps and spends time in a dollhouse, because that just makes the most sense.
We don’t speak anymore, we haven’t figured out how to go about it without blowing her away, but our relationship feels tighter than it has in a really long time. We still love each other, with a love bigger than either of us can handle. Maybe that’s what happened. Maybe, she loved me so hard she gave it all to me and one day, things will change. I will become small so she can keep me in her pocket, or at least very nearby, and that big love will be hers. It’s just too much for the both of us to put out that much love from our person size bodies at once.
I’m okay with it, I think. At least, I’ve accepted there is a real possibility that I may one day be miniature toy size and spend my days in her purse. She loves me. I know there will be tiny pie.